Some of y’all haven’t become so disillusioned with your own reality that you spend years of your life daydreaming about entirely made up worlds and people and it shows
me, acting suspiciously Functional™️: i can’t believe i’ve faked a mental illness for the last decade
JARVIS: Sir, Miss Romanoff has put all super secret files including the neuclear launch codes and a thousand other important documents from the SHEILD archives online.
Tony: Did you filter it out, Jar?
JARVIS : What do you take me for, Sir? A Hammer Industry AI?
Virgil: * does a kickflip on a skateboard while crying* what’s up I’m lonely and depressed
Peter: It’s Wednesday my dudes.
Peter: *screams*
Shuri: *dying of laughter*
Tony and T'challa: but it’s Friday?
Shuri: Hey how you doing?
Peter: Thanks for checking in.
Peter: *singing* I’m still a piece of garbage.
Shuri: Mood.
Tony and T'challa: Should I call some one!? Do we need to talk?
Logan: Come with me
Virgil: Uh, no, I’m never doing anything blindly with you again. I learned that at the Mexican border. Twice.
canon: they died
fanfic: fUCK YOU
Canon: and so they never met
Fanfic: here’s a funny story
Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.
Fanfic: Actually,
Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms
Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!
Canon: … and they were roommates.
Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…
Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.
Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened
Canon: They had a coffeeshop
Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS
Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions
Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN
@who-fucking-knows-at-this-point why does this remind me of our malec conversation at the fireworks display.😂
Why you gotta call me out like this dude. I mean your not wrong.
Peter: Everyone dies.
Peter: You either kill yourself or get killed.
Tony: Who, who hurt you!
Peter: *tearing up* life.
Steve and Bucky: Peter said a bad word during training.
Tony and Stephen: Where the fuck did he learn that?
Person A: Can you teach me math?
Person B: I went to a public school in Mississipi. They told us dinosaurs went extinct because an asteroid turned them gay.
Peter falls through the roof
Shuri: Hey Ron.
Peter: Hey Billy.
Tony and T'challa: What is happening!?
Virgil: The food’s too hot, I can’t eat it.
Roman: You’re too hot and I still eat you.
Patton:
Deceit:
Logan: [slams knife and fork down] ONE DINNER!! I JUST WANTED ONE. DINNER.
